I’m into the whack-a-mole stage of training now: as soon as one issue is resolved, a new one pops up to take its place. I finally seem to have my Achilles tendon under control, when I come down with a terrible chest cold that throws my training totally off track. I worry and fret, and then realize that worrying and fretting are not going to help and that I simply must take time off and not push myself too hard. So I take time off. Then I push myself too hard, worry and fret some more—and finally realize I’m fine.
And then I hurt my back.
It might be funny if we weren’t five weeks away from race day. I’m not sensing the humour in this at all, to be honest. I’m excited about the race and feel like I could be ready for it—if these setbacks didn’t keep coming one after the next.
Training seems to be a lot like writing. You look around and think everyone else knows what they’re doing and can pump out a perfect first draft while you’re the only one who has to revise and rewrite and rethink—and then you get to know other writers and discover they go through the exact same process as you.
I thought I was the only one having setback after setback in my training—until I started asking around. Turns out, everyone goes through this process—whether it’s because of a lack of time to train, or sickness, or injury, or who knows what else. This isn’t what happens instead of training. This IS the training. I keep waiting for the time when everything will run smoothly, but that time is not going to come—or if it does, it won’t last for long.
This realization has been a comfort. I’ve had to lower my expectations (again) and accept the circumstances as they are, but I’ve come to understand that just getting to the start line is an achievement, never mind the finish line. We’re all limping by this point; we’re all saying, “It is what it is.”
And despite that, slowly, slowly, things are coming together. I’ve now swam farther than I ever have before, the run times are increasing, and if my body decides to cooperate I will get to Whistler next weekend to ride the course.
We shall see.
Excellent blog. It’s amazing how so many things relate back to the life of a writer, isn’t it? Hold those thoughts and know that others have the same insecurities and angst. You’ll kill it! Xo.
Sometimes the forced rest from training due to injury or illness can have a positive impact on an athlete‘s performance. Believe in yourself. You’ve done the work. Relax, heal and enjoy the experience of race day.
BTW, loved your book, The House of One Thousand Eyes. My two eyes were quite wet at times. My 19-year-old daughter is reading it now. I reminded her of our visit to Berlin and the markings on the sidewalk indicating where the wall once stood. I was in West Berlin for the first time in May 1989. The wall seemed solid and insurmountable. Little did I know that it would crumble in November of that year. Thank you for bringing this part of history to life.
Didn’t you know that when you whack-a-mole and send it back down to where it popped up from, the hole is filled in by a daisy?
Your comment “but I’ve come to understand that just getting to the start line is an achievement” is right on. By the way I had to look up in google what “whack a mole” means
Haha, I’ve never actually played the game but it seems like a good analogy for a lot of things.
I did not know that! That’s awesome!
Thank you so much for your kind words about Eyes. I’m glad you enjoyed the book and thank you for passing it on to your daughter.
I hope you’re right about the forced rest. I’m wrestling with such anxiety right now and trying to find some peace and acceptance—not easy. I am beginning to see, however, that the bad back might have been a blessing in disguise. I wasn’t completely healed from that chest cold and if I hadn’t been slowed down further I might have ended up with something much worse.
Thank you so much for the support. I hope so!
My son is a full-time competitive country skier who was sick three times last season for a total of 46 days. He found it extremely difficult to keep anxiety at bay, though he tried hard. In the end, he found that the beginning of the racing season was not badly affected, but towards the end of the season, he was lacking energy. Frustrating as an athlete to be injured or sick, but training through this is ultimately unproductive and potentially damaging. Be patient, as hard as it is.